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Validation is not the same thing as praise; it is more an acknowledgment of the person, whereas praise is just a compliment.
To validate someone is to acknowledge the feelings involved, regardless of whether you agree with how the other person is feeling or not.
Those who grow up with invalidating comments, especially those that are disguised as praise and support, can find it difficult to see the difference between these comments and validating comments.
Not only does the child feel the discomfort that comes from invalidation disguised as praise, but those not directly involved in the dynamics may not recognize this either.
Regardless of the means, the effect is clear: the person's feelings are “wrong.”An environment perceived as invalidating generally means that the child grows up feeling that his emotional responses are not correct or considered in the regular course of things.
It is possible that individual temperaments affect a person’s general sensitivity to invalidation, but everyone has times when they are more vulnerable or sensitive.
It is generally characterized by intolerance of the expression of emotional experiences, which often leads to extreme displays of emotion. Linehan, borderline personality disorder clinician and researcher, proposed the idea that the development of BPD happens during the developmental years, where the child receives the message that he or she should learn to cope with emotions internally and without support from his or her parents.
As a result, the child never learns how to regulate or tolerate her own emotions, and fails to learn how to solve the problems that are inciting these emotions.
Other adults, instead of recognizing the impact these invalidating comments disguised as praise may have on a child, might dismiss the resultant insecurity or sadness of the child as "over-sensitivity" on the part of the child rather than lack of thoughtfulness on the part of the parent.
It is important to remember that people tend to experience relationships and interactions differently.
Praise addresses the action or behavior without addressing the emotion behind it.