Dating jokes humor dating memes

Posted by / 29-Jan-2017 08:12

Dating jokes humor

" Little Charles Little Charles approached his mother and asked her "Mummy, whats a girlfriend" To which his mum replied "If you're a good boy, you will get one." Charles then asked, "What if I am a bad boy?

Q: What's 6 inches long, 2 inches wide and drives your girlfriend wild? Q: What do you call your ex-girlfriend with Pms and Esp? That way if she doesn't like the slippers she can go fuck herself." Flowers A man comes home with a bokay of flowers for his girlfriend and she says "I guess I'll have to spread my legs now." And her boyfriend asks "Why, don't you have a vase?

She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale. A husband exclaims to his wife one day, "Your butt is getting really big. " Later that night in bed, the husband makes some advances towards his wife who completely brushes him off. " A lady comes home from her doctor's appointment grinning from ear to ear. " The wife says, "The doctor told me that for a forty-five year old woman, I have the breasts of a eighteen year old." "Oh yeah?

He tells her to slip it into his mashed potatoes at dinner, so that night, she does just that. A: The washing machine doesn't follow you around for two weeks after you dump a load in it! A: Lipstick Q: What should you give a man who has everything? Kissing your girlfriend on the cheek(good) kissing girlfriend in the mouth (awesome) Kissing girlfriend in front of her ex (boss). It's bro's before hoes, not bro's over your girlfriend. Girlfriend: Oh well just because you have a dick doesn't mean you can be one. " Girlfriend: "No." Boyfriend: "Me neither, start cooking." Girlfriend: Ily. Boyfriend : When I Get On One Knee and Make You My Wife. Girlfriend: I want to end up our relationship, I am going to return you everything you gave me.. Once again, she pulled away, got out of the car, and hurried home. Q: What is the difference between a Girlfriend and a washing machine? Q: What's the difference between a girlfriend with PMS and a Pit Bull? If she doesnt get jealous when someone has your attention, it's because someone has hers Skinny = anorexic , thick = obese , virgin = too good , non-virgin = slut , friendly = fake , quiet = rude. Be the girl his ex girlfriend will hate, his mom will love, and that he will never forget. Boyfri(end) Girlfri(end) Fri(end) everything has an end except fam(ily) It was so hot today, I almost called my ex-girlfriend to be around something shady. Boyfriend: "Life's a bitch, just like you." Girlfriend: "Actually life is short, just like your dick." Boyfriend: Just because you have your period doesn't mean you can be a bitch. As they were kissing passionately, Chris slid his hand up Michelle's skirt.The foundation will be glad to pay for any damages." "Nah," she says, "that's okay. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE!We're never going back to that restaurant anyway." Bob was in trouble. " The next morning he got up early and left for work.

dating jokes humor-77dating jokes humor-20dating jokes humor-12

A: If they're not on your dick they're in your wallet. The second one I called mountain dew, because when it came to mounting he knew what to do. Then the other girl interrupts saying "Hold on a minute. " The girl smiles and says "Yes it is" Rich & Poor A rich man and a poor man are both buying anniversary gifts for their girlfriends. " And the poor man says "I'm buying her a pair of slippers and a dildo.

One thought on “dating jokes humor”