Dating jokes humor speed dating harrogate

Posted by / 29-Jan-2017 08:12

She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale. A husband exclaims to his wife one day, "Your butt is getting really big. " Later that night in bed, the husband makes some advances towards his wife who completely brushes him off. " A lady comes home from her doctor's appointment grinning from ear to ear. " The wife says, "The doctor told me that for a forty-five year old woman, I have the breasts of a eighteen year old." "Oh yeah?" quipped her husband, "What did he say about your forty-five year old ass? " Little Charles Little Charles approached his mother and asked her "Mummy, whats a girlfriend" To which his mum replied "If you're a good boy, you will get one." Charles then asked, "What if I am a bad boy? Q: What's 6 inches long, 2 inches wide and drives your girlfriend wild? Q: What do you call your ex-girlfriend with Pms and Esp? That way if she doesn't like the slippers she can go fuck herself." Flowers A man comes home with a bokay of flowers for his girlfriend and she says "I guess I'll have to spread my legs now." And her boyfriend asks "Why, don't you have a vase?About a week later, she’s back at the doctor, where she says, "Doc, the pill worked great! It wasn't five minutes later that he jumped up, raked all the food and dishes onto the floor, grabbed me, ripped all my clothes off, and ravaged me right there on the table!" The doctor says, "I’m sorry, we didn’t realize the pill was that strong!

Q: What does your girlfriend and a condom got in common? The first one I called 7 Up, because he had 7 inches and he knew how to keep it up. And the rich man says "I'm getting her a diamond ring and a Marcedes." "Why both? And the rich man says "That way if she doesn't like the ring she can still enjoy the Marcedes when she returns the ring." And then the rich man asks the poor man "What are you getting your girlfriend?She reaches for a baseball bat and starts hitting the blanket as hard as she can.Once she's done, she goes to the kitchen to have a drink. It shows when someone touches her phone or her boyfriend. They look good for a while but eventually they fade and have to be replaced.. This time, Michelle didn't get home until very late. Ever since my girlfriend got pregnant a lot has changed in my life...my name, address and telephone number Facebook asks what I'm thinking. Your girlfriend is like a meatlocker every guy wants to store his meat in her Every girl is a ninja... Boyfriend: awww spell it out to make it more romantic. Girlfriend: "Go to hell." Boyfriend: "I'm sorry, I can't go to hell. I was caught selling ice." Boyfriend: Amazing world, only 25% boys have common sense, very short figure! Later that night, she wrote in her diary, "I repeat, a girl's best friends are her own two legs." On the third date, the pair returned to the country road.

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