Because we just started dating
We all know the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result.
"I endorse a relationship sequel, but certainly not a trilogy and beyond," says clinical psychologist Monica O'Neal, Psy. An acknowledgment of why things didn't work the first time, and a vow to do it better, is a good sign, she says.
So when you find a real bond with someone, it's hard as hell to let go.
Halpern-Meekin confirms that many couples who reunited were more likely to feel they'd "revealed their deepest self" to each other.
A strong connection with a romantic partner can be hard to shake because, to a certain extent, it's rooted in our brain chemistry. D., a professor of psychology at Concordia University in Canada, mated female rats with male rats he'd dabbed with a special scent.
Later, when he mixed the lady rats with both the familiar-scented males they'd already made sweet rodent love with and new unscented rats, 80 to 100 percent (in different trials) chose their familiar partners over the new dudes.
But "if you re-experience the same disappointment and hurt, it's a sign this person is not an ideal partner."Although Gabrielle's boomerang relationship had its downsides, she doesn't regret it, because "it made me realize that I didn't want the in-between relationship anymore," she says.
"You get one tiny little urge to email or text that person, and boom! We're also used to the cycle of swiping, liking, and effing — and while it can be spontaneous and fun, it can also leave you feeling like there's a pile of dust where your heart used to be."I gave him a trial period, and he proved that he really cared about me," she said, including supporting her during her mom's bout with cancer.They're planning on moving in together soon."When we broke up, I told him I wanted a guy who was sure of himself," she said.On average, yo-yo daters broke up two times within one year, according to study co-author Sarah Halpern-Meekin, Ph.D., now an assistant professor of human development and family studies at the University of Wisconsin at Madison.
Pfaus says it's because when you're in that "beautiful, magical, post-orgasmic state with someone, your brain releases oxytocin and opioids" (chemicals linked to happiness and romantic love), creating an attachment — which some research has likened to addiction — to the person you've been with.